Why Your Team Sucks 2016: Minnesota Vikings

[Funkytown]

Why Your Team Sucks 2016: Minnesota Vikings by Drew Magary

See, this is why Minnesotans deserve to watch shanked 27-yard field goals for the rest of eternity. They are a group of passive-aggressive psychopaths who have somehow deluded themselves into believing they’re plain, honest folk.

Also, Norv is still the OC. If Norv Turner were a doctor he’d leave a scalpel inside you by accident. Watch any game called by Norv and you will witness at least one drive, perhaps more, that seems to have been deliberately sabotaged. Wait, why are we running the ball with no timeouts left? Why did he call that fullback lateral? IS HE A DOUBLE AGENT?! Norv can rot in hell.

What has always sucked: Oh hey, Adrian Peterson is still out there swallowing his own dip spit while fumbling like a complete #### in playoff games. Has ANYONE talked to him about the fumbling? Or would that be too upsetting to his delicate psyche, causing him to literally lash out at everyone with a palm frond?

Plenty more at the link: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks ... 1785695904

[Mothman]

I usually don't laugh much at this annual article from deadspin but I had to laugh at this:

Everything about the Vikings—from the offense to the defense to the special teams—is designed to malfunction at the exact wrong time.

It's just too accurate.

Thanks for the link.

[mondry]

Thanks Funkster! it'd hurt if it wasn't funny!

[CbusVikesFan]

I usually don't laugh much at this annual article from deadspin but I had to laugh at this:
It's just too accurate.

Thanks for the link.

Finally, someone gets it!

[S197]

Man there were some real gems in that article. It's funny because it's so true and something you can really only understand as a Vikings player.

This one had me lol at the office:

We have a left tackle I hope at least has the courtesy to yell “He’s coming!” at Bridgewater so that he can at least bite down on his mouthguard before getting exploded in front of his mom.

[HardcoreVikesFan]

At least Drew Magary shares our pain

Funny stuff per usual. I think it is scary though that I had a similar reaction and gut feeling as everyone else in that article when they were discussing the Blair Walsh missed FG.

[jackal]

On the field, GM Rick Spielman made only a token effort to revamp what was the worst line in team history. You’d have a harder time knocking down a row of dominoes. The Vikes cut Phil Loadholt’s salary until he retired, signed aging vets Alex Boone and Andre Smith’s manbreasts, and drafted Willie Beavers, who graded second-to-last among lineman in ALL of college football last season. All of it. Jesus Christ. The rest of the line is dependent on center John Sullivan not having his spine turn into wet bread at some point during the season. Matt Kalil is still the worst thing in my life.

The OL is thing I agree with the most.. its needed overhaul for years and instead we been given the Matt Kalil is looking much better bull crap
and band aids...Boone was the only offseason OL move I liked ....

It was nice to see another Blair Walsh Seattle field goal (from almost the same #$$%^ *&^ distance again.)